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After four years of leaving my hometown, chasing my dreams, failing multiple times, and picking myself back up, I learned vital lessons about myself. I found that every time I succeeded, I would find myself in the same situation:
Success would happen, and I would want more (who doesn’t). I found I was always chasing something I would never outrun. I wanted the sun (and the moon, and the stars), and maybe it was the fuel from everyone who said I couldn’t do it (us women get that A LOT), or maybe it was the need always to be ambitious, hardworking, and assertive. I HAD to want more because what else was there? I was told my whole life I was ambitious, as if it was hardwired into me never to stop competing with myself, and so I never stopped (and still haven’t).
But then I would find myself in a massive failure: physical, mental, a struggle with my relationships or at home. It seemed something had to lose to win. I had to face a downfall, and that was hard. The negative self-talk and depressive episodes seemed to follow me. It seemed I could never outrun myself, but my fears had no problem catching up to me.
Whenever this happened, I would find myself crumbling and rebuilding myself constantly. My growth was nowhere near linear, but it was growth. But none of life is easy, ever, so when I felt all this happening again, I would self-reflect and rebuild. Every. Single. Time. And every time, I would turn to music to describe my feelings, to teach me lessons, and to grow through it.
And so I take you on a journey of some of the most meaningful lyrics (from female artists) that I think every female leader should hear and know. A mini playlist for you equipped with some tidbits of advice so that you may take in some of the lessons I learned and maybe create your own! These songs helped me through tough times, taught me to vouch for myself, to enjoy my successes, to feel my feelings, and most importantly, to learn that I am not alone.
“You wanna fly, but you don't/You holdin' on your wings/Look to the sky, why don't you/Live for the finer things?” - ROYL, Chloe x Halle.
Trust yourself, trust your ambition, and stop holding yourself back. Life is meant to be lived, so live it. You don’t want to look back and wish you had said yes more, so start saying yes.
2. “I’ve never been a natural all I do is try, try, try” - mirrorball, Taylor Swift.
When you say yes a lot, you will be scared a lot. You’ll feel like you’re behind or lost. Like you’re always trying and never learning, and like you just always want more. That's okay. You are learning. You just don’t know it yet. I have always felt like I had to try harder or work twice as hard as them to get half of what they have. That may be true, or it may not. But trying is built into us; we love trying, failing, and learning. What would you be like if you never tried? Think of that and think of where you are now. You always took risks, even if it didn’t feel like it. No one’s a natural. Keep trying, keep chasing, and keep wanting more.
3. “Probably true what they say about me/Probably came from my inner circle/It usually come from your inner circle/Or lack thereof, and I don't know who I can trust”- Go Gina, SZA.
Not everyone wishes the best for you, even if you wish the best for them. Brush it off. Not everyone has to like you. People will talk, but they cannot make you something you aren’t. Protect your sanity. Always take the high road and be authentic to yourself. Your real friends will know, love, accept, and support you for you.
4. “Tonight, I'm a baller, babe/Yeah, it feels so good to be so young/And have this fun and be successful/I'm so successful/And, girl, you too, you are so young/And beautiful and so successful, oh, whoa, yeah/I'm so successful.” - successful, Ariana Grande
Speaking of successes! Celebrate them! It feels good, and it should. Be proud of yourself and others. Uplift other women. It isn’t a competition. There is always room at the top, and if there isn’t? Make it. When you support them, they support you. When they win, you win. Advocate and celebrate others and also celebrate yourself.
5. “Head on the pavement/I'm just trying to win/Pushed in the river, I swim/Nothing can blindside me like the high tide/I don't do well under pressure/I don't know it all/I wish I had all the answers/Fix it all myself/I feel overwhelmed” - Overwhelmed, Chloe x Halle
Life is hard. Pain is supposed to be painful. Feel your feelings. Cry it out, call a friend, ask for help, and take breaks. You don’t always have to be ahead to be on the right path. No one has all the answers. Sometimes it feels like you’re drowning, and that’s normal. If you never bleed, you’re never going to grow.
6. “And I wake up in the middle of the night/It's like I can feel time moving/How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?” - Nothing New, Taylor Swift ft. Phoebe Bridgers
Growth is not linear. Throughout my life, I have felt many times that I knew everything I needed to know about the world and times when I have also felt completely and utterly lost with little to no direction. I’ve learned that it fluctuates. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve also learned that I have a lot to learn. Life goes on. Live it because it’s meant to be lived, work hard because no one is a natural, take the high road, celebrate your successes and others, feel your feelings, and remember there is always learning to be done! As Professor Lesley Robinson says: “if you see her, you can be her”, so I hope that you can see the lessons and build your own. I’ve attached a playlist link at the bottom if you want to listen to these songs (and more) so that you can create your own meanings and attachments to them.
About The Author:
Zaynab Noormohamed '23
Human Dimensions of Organizations
Entrepreneurial LeadHERship Student
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