The Beauty in the Gray Space

By: Mallory Malonson

The gray space is a space of I don’t know, the uncertainty principle, it's a place designated for solely potential energy. Why do we end up here? How is it that some people know exactly what they are destined to do, while others linger in dismay? I found myself in the gray space this past year and from experience, I can say it can be scary, unsettling, and lead you to wonder, “Do I know anything at all ?” Going to the University of Texas had been my dream before I even knew myself. I spent my high school years on autopilot. I was willing to take any class and get whatever grade I needed to accomplish my mission. Now, as a freshman at my dream school and my mission that kept me going for so long, now complete I was faced with the question of “What's next ?”, “What am I studying ?”, “what do I want to major in ?”, and “What do you want to be?”… questions I wasn't prepared for. I had found myself in the gray space. After spending my freshman year in and out of advising offices, after taking almost every self-exploring test known to man, I don’t believe this is a bad space to be in. Yet, you have to use it wisely because the gray space is a sensitive line between greatness and a hopeless dreamer. So it is highly likely you will find yourself in this space, don't panic, remember these lessons I've learned and they may just be the thing to get you on your mission. You're most likely in the gray space for a reason. This might be a sign reminding you to stop, reflect, and ask yourself the hard questions.

Find Your Ikigai

Ikigai is a word that sounds funny at first but may be the very thing you are missing from your life. The Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means reason for being. This concept is in every person and it just takes others longer to find it. Your Ikigai combines what you love, what you're good at, what you can get paid for, and what the world needs. Read the Ikigai book. My words do not even measure in comparison to the wisdom and perspective the Ikigai book can give.

Self Explore

When you feel like you know nothing at all, start to get to know yourself. Recognizing your strengths and values will filter out the things that you are good at from things that are not worth your time. Values are what we base decisions on. They are non-negotiable, if an activity, major, or people do not align with your personal values, then you are much better off without them. Your strengths tell you more about yourself than you can verbally say. Strengths are something you are good at without even trying, they are what you bring to the table. It is important to note not everything you are good at is a strength. Strengths bring meaning, they make you a contributor. While in the gray space, I encourage you to do values work and find your strengths.

Try New Things

It's not like you have any idea what you want to do, so you might as well try something new. We can tell ourselves all day that we don't like blank, blank, or blank, but unless we truly get out and experience new things, who are we to say we don't like them? You are put in the gray space for a reason. You have thought too long on a certain mission so it's time to find something new. You never know what activity, a person, or experience could give you the thing you very well need to get out of the gray space and back on a mission. So expand your horizons because it just might lead you to find your purpose.

Network

Just because you're in the gray space doesn't mean that life slows down. We constantly have people surrounding us and it makes living a little less lonely. You truly never know the benefit that others can bring you in your life and the opportunities they can instill in you, so invite someone out for coffee, text them a happy birthday, and ask your questions. Building relationships with people all around gives you a whole arsenal of connections to choose from when you need an opportunity. At times other people know you better than you know yourself and you would want to be the person that comes to mind when they have a connection to facilitate.

Don't Let the Plan Stop You From Your Mission

This past year I sat in the last lecture of one of my freshman year courses and instead of talking about the typical topics, my professor wanted to talk to us about our mission. He explained to us as if we were in the Navy. The Navy Seals have an overall mission and make plans to accomplish it. However, don't let a change in plans stop you from your mission. So, establish your mission whether it is to help people, to educate others, or to bring creativity. Never let a change in plans stop your mission. Life will happen, and you will fail, but don't let the little uncertainties of life stop you from achieving your personal mission.

Conclusion

The gray space isn't a bad thing at all. You are in the gray space for a reason. It is the sign that life is telling you to really think about your actions, and what fulfillment you can get in your life. It's important to use this time wisely because staying too long in the gray space can lead you to be indecisive, miss out on opportunities, and overall life can just pass you by. So finding the beauty in the gray space and using my tips above could very well be the thing to get you to know exactly what you want and will help you get back on a new track.