Moving Past Toxic Positivity to Find Hope

The world is crumbling. The job market is crashing. All hope appears to be lost, and you are inside your bedroom eating chips and trying to ignore the seemingly ongoing disaster that is 2020. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Living life in the middle of a global pandemic can be stressful, to say the least, and even more difficult is the struggle to remain hopeful. Scrolling through motivational messages on social media claiming, “It will get better!” can leave a bitter taste in one’s mouth. We were told that back in March, right? While this kind of encouragement works for some, excessive positivity can be counterproductive when it does not allow for grief or open communication of one’s thoughts. The truth is much more complicated than motivational speeches often claim, but with some reflection, we can regain our hope for the future, despite uncertainty. In this article, we will deconstruct some common motivational phrases and discuss how to find hope when struggling.

Just Love Yourself!

While self-image is important in mental health, the word concept of self- care is often oversimplified. Loving yourself is portrayed as taking bubble baths and doing a face mask, and while these are completely valid options (who doesn’t love a good charcoal mask?), they are not catch-alls for self-care. Self-care routines are deeply personal and require reflection to determine what is best for you. For some, self-care is exiting a toxic relationship. For others, it is taking medication or going to therapy. Self-care can even be reflecting on and improving your own harmful traits. What’s most important is to remember that your relationship with yourself is precisely that:; a relationship! Relationships take work. There will be days where you will not like yourself. Instead of feeling shame because a bath will not cure your depression or solve your relationship issues, allow yourself to struggle with and overcome self-doubt.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger!

While there may be truth in the notion that we can learn from our experiences, the idea that trauma is worth it can be extremely harmful. We live in a world clouded by violence, prejudice, discrimination, and manipulation. The truth is that there is often no justification for that kind of suffering. Sometimes, our experiences will not make us visibly stronger. They may even handicap us. But when you do grow, you do not have to be grateful for what has hurt you. There is something very freeing in the realization that you do not have to thank your aggressor. Your identity has not been formed by the harm that others have subjected you to. Instead, it has been formed by your own efforts.

It Gets Better!

Looking at the current state of the world, some cope by saying things will get better. Others will point out that things have gotten worse. The truth is, I do not know what will happen going forward. However, if there is one clear take away we can have from COVID-19, it is that things change. Seemingly overnight, our lives shifted. Now we wear masks everywhere we go, classes are online, hand sanitizer is a commodity, and the normal we once knew no longer exists. I cannot promise that the fall will be better than spring or summer, but I can say with full certainty that things will continue to shift tomorrow, next semester, and forever. Opportunities will be gained and lost. You will love and be loved. And most importantly, you will change. One morning you will wake up and find that your hair is a little grayer, the sun is a little brighter, the house is a little quieter. And the things that once meant everything would mean nothing at all. Even when we cannot be certain, we can be curious about the things to come. Maybe even hopeful.

Here at the WEL Institute, we want to share motivation in a way that is empowering and understanding of the situations of a diverse student body. Feel free to leave a comment below letting us know what brings you hope personally!