How to Become Your Most Confident Self

Self-confidence can break belief barriers and spur us to become the best version of ourselves. Yet so many people lack confidence in themselves. In fact, self-assurance is one of the least frequently reported Clifton Strengths from data gathered by Gallup from 15 million people since 1998. It’s easy to hold ourselves back from achieving goals or convince ourselves not to speak up when we want to. For some, a self-assured life, one absent of self-doubt or fear about what-ifs, can seem unattainable. But a self-assured, confidently led life is not out of reach. Though becoming confident is not an overnight transformation, there are ways to build a foundation of confidence to squash self-doubt and be well on our way to a more confident and assertive self!

Whether we exude confidence or don’t have an ounce of it, there is always the opportunity to build confidence.

1. The first step to becoming our most confident self is identifying and acknowledging the strengths we already possess.

This can be done by reflecting on past achievements or identifying our strengths. Whether it’s public speaking, mediating, finding creative solutions, idea generating or the like, we all possess strengths that can bolster our confidence. Once we recognize our strengths, we can tell ourselves affirmations.

2. Positive Self-Talk

Another important mechanism in building a sturdy foundation for confidence is understanding the things we say to ourselves about ourselves. Self-talk is pivotal. Instead of negative self-talk being the hindrance to a confident and happy self, we can flip it and use it as a weapon to bolster ourselves. Positive self-talk can feel silly, especially if we don’t believe what we're saying to ourselves. Self-talk doesn’t have to be overly positive, especially if it’s not our forte. It’s essential that self-talk is genuine. Disingenuous self-talk can be more discouraging than not.

It’s important that confidence is not externally based, meaning that other people are not the promoters or demoters of our confidence. While getting bolstered up and supported by friends is important, it cannot be the only thing fueling our confidence. Placing our sense of self-confidence in another person’s hands takes away our power. Confidence truly does come from within!

3. Recognize Your Progress

Just like goal-setting, recognizing how far we’ve come is just as important as knowing how far we have to go. When we take the time to acknowledge our progression, we are acknowledging our achievements while simultaneously creating a frame of reference that can shape and bolster our confidence! When we recognize our progress, we can celebrate with small rewards to make our headway tangible.

4. Have Some Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is important. Giving ourselves the space and permission to build confidence is important. Building confidence is a growth process. Incorporating graciousness with ourselves in our mission to build our confidence can make the process much more enriching and genuine. We cannot allow setbacks to deter or discourage us from our journey to a more confident self. Self-compassion requires patience. It also firmly roots the process of confidence-building in ourselves, which is an important part of the journey towards confidence.

Confidence comes from within! Share some ways you feel like your most confident self!