How to Become More Present

In our fast-paced world, with a sprawling to-do list and things commanding our attention from every direction, being authentically present can be a daunting challenge. Social media, assignments, advancing careers, and other pressing tasks can sidetrack us from mindfulness and the current moment.

“Maybe our own internal value is to stop and pause and be more grounded and reflective, but that is challenged by the environment we're in, to produce and be focused more on product and outcome,” Nadia Kalinshuk, a trauma-informed healing specialist, shared.

Grounding ourselves in the present doesn't have to be a chore, in fact, being attuned to what’s around us while it is happening can improve our relationships with ourselves and others. Nadia explained that being grounded or present can mean different things for different people. Some people find solace in being grounded in different contexts.

“Grounding can be what gets you closer to who you truly are,” Nadia explained. “Whether it's in that situation where you're breathing and you're acknowledging your own humanity, whether you're grounded in a community, or whether you're grounded in that one-on-one relationship with someone.”

1. Being Present With Yourself

It might sound silly to be present with yourself, but being mindful of your thoughts, breathing, and actions is important to gain a better understanding of yourself and have a healthy relationship with yourself. A part of learning self-love is being present and mindful. Some people cultivate this by practicing yoga, journaling, or are simply being aware of our thoughts. Being mindful of our thoughts means being aware of them and acknowledging them, but not necessarily holding them to be true (especially negative thoughts!) Being present with ourselves can be difficult, especially if we’re used to diverting our thoughts or keeping busy, but the more we become comfortable with being mindful of ourselves, the better we can cultivate our relationships with ourselves!

2. Being Present With Others

Being present with others is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships. Sitting at a table where four out of five people are on their phones is never a good feeling. We don’t like it when people do it to us, and it never feels great to have a friend call you out for it.

“Oftentimes we're getting fragments of people's participation, and people's engagement and people's time,” Nadia said. “What's more important is that we can actually sit there and be more fully with the person.”

In order to have healthy relationships, it’s important that we are present when we’re with them. This can take place by agreeing to not check our phones, carving time out for people in our calendars, and communicating with them how they want us to be there for them.

Being present doesn’t have to be an impossible task! It isn’t an overnight habit either. Like all things, it is a process that takes intention, but in finding the best way to ground ourselves, we can all learn what methods work best for us!